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Part 4 of 1 Peter: Love One Another

1 Peter 3:1-22 (CSB)

 

Today, we are looking at chapter three: 1 Peter 3:1-22. Before we get into it, do you remember how he started this letter by saying to them, “as the one who called you is holy, you also are to be holy in all your conduct” (1 Peter 1:15)? Then he elaborated on that idea, and said in 1 Peter 2:5, because “you yourselves, as living stones, a spiritual house, are being built to be a holy priesthood to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ,” you are to live accordingly: be holy. Then he gave some specific examples of how they are to be holy in all their conduct. Not only did he tell the believers to submit to good rulers and, if they were household slaves, to their masters, but now he will tell them they are to submit to one other within their families as well.  

 

Let’s read verses 1-4, which are addressed to married women. He says, “1 In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live 2 when they observe your pure, reverent lives. 3 Don’t let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, 4 but rather what is inside the heart—the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

 

Like Peter’s previous examples of submitting to governing authorities and slave masters, this section is also fraught with misunderstanding and controversy. This section of scripture has been used by some people to justify their suppression of women. Ironically, most of the groups within Christianity who think this passage means husbands have absolute authority over their wives, have no problem with their wives wearing “elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes.” Probably because the NASB translation says, “Your adornment must not be merely the external—braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or putting on apparel” as a way of explaining the meaning, but I want to note that the Greek does not add the word merely.

 

Does that mean that married women should not braid their hair into elaborate hairstyles or wear jewelry? No, it means that in this particular situation that Peter is writing about, he is urging these Christian women to let what’s “inside the heart- the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit” be their adornment, winning over their unbelieving husbands to Christ. In Ellicott’s Commentary, he states that we should remember that Peter was a married man, and that “there is something almost playful in the substitution of ‘their wives’ instead of ‘you,’ and in the ‘without the word’ contrasted with ‘the word’ before.” The reason for the wives’ submission is to win their unbelieving husbands to Christ.

 

I think it’s also important to note another point that Ellicott makes in his commentary. He writes, “And what [Peter] means here, is not that those who have resisted the public preaching in the synagogues, should even without that public preaching be won; rather, that though the gospel as uttered verbally only provokes them to opposition, the gospel as submissively acted by their wives, without a word said on the matter, ought to convert them.” I think this is a vital point to make, because Peter is not suggesting that people can be converted without hearing the Gospel. These wives’ husbands still need to hear the Gospel message in order for them to be converted. But the wives can help reinforce the message of the Gospel by “living pure and reverent lives.”

 

If we love people, serve them, care for them, even submit to them, it doesn’t matter how wonderfully we do that: they will not be converted to the faith if they never hear the Gospel. By the same token, if we present the Gospel to someone and then behave in direct contrast to the word, our witness will be ineffective. Whereas, coupled together with the Gospel, our witness is powerful if we live pure, reverent lives in obedience to the word.

 

Then in verses 5-6, Peter says, “5 For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also adorned themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do what is good and do not fear any intimidation.”

 

Some translations say “alarms” instead of intimidation, and as Ellicott explains, “The ‘alarms’ which they naturally might fear are, of course, quite general, but especially here, we may suppose, dread of what their unbelieving husbands might do to them.”

 

We have to keep mind, as we read through these New Testament letters, what the situation in the culture was like. Women were oppressed. Slavery was accepted. The Government enforced this unjust society. The message of the Gospel stood in stark contrast to this society, for the Gospel proclaimed that in Christ, we all have freedom and equal value. To the early believers, this was so remarkable and new that they struggled to apply it. This is why, at first, we see them trying to maintain their Jewish/Gentile divisions. They want to keep the rules they are comfortable with. With new found freedom declared to all the believers, I’m certain they struggled with how to live in this new freedom and equality and how to remain in their positions in life that didn’t offer them the freedoms they now knew should be theirs. We see from reading the other New Testament writings that the believers were told to remain in whatever situation they were in once saved. In the same way that a household slave was not supposed to leave their situation, a woman who is married should not divorce her husband. In her society, she is expected to submit to her husband and even be the same religion as him. Even though now she has freedom and equality in Jesus, she shouldn’t leave him. She should submit to her husband, laying aside her freedom, and God will honor her for it. If they were slaves, they should not try to escape and risk being killed. If they were married to an unbeliever, they should not seek a divorce but try to win their spouse to Christ. Peter is writing in context of all of this. So as we dig into this letter, let us keep this in mind.

 

This is why, then, as he turns his attention now to the husbands, what he says would be a radical new way of thinking for these believers. He says in verse 7, “Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker partner, showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”

 

As we see, Peter is not giving husbands a green light to lord over their wives. When he says, “weaker partner” he means, “weaker vessel” as the Greek says. Most women do have weaker physical bodies than men. The men are to be understanding and supportive, and show their wives honor, for they are “coheirs of the grace of life.” And he even goes so far as to say they are to do this so their “prayers will not be hindered.”

 

This last statement could mean that if he fails to do these things, his personal prayers will be hindered. Or, if the husband’s wife is an unbeliever, it means that by honoring his wife, he will not hinder his prayers for her conversion. I think it probably means both, as we will see evidence for that, shortly in this letter.  

 

For then, having addressed wives and husbands individually, then he says in verses 8-9, “8 Finally, all of you be like-minded and sympathetic, love one another, and be compassionate and humble, 9 not paying back evil for evil or insult for insult but, on the contrary, giving a blessing, since you were called for this, so that you may inherit a blessing.”

 

This speaks of mutual love and respect, and no longer only directed to wives with unbelieving husbands, or to husbands, now this directive applies directly to all married people, and of course, it also applies to all people, not just those who are married.

 

In all areas of our lives, not just when submitting to rulers or employers, but within our family, within all relationships and situations, we are to live humbly and with love, serving one another. By being compassionate and  humble, and by not returning insults or seeking vengeance, we will strengthen our witness. We will show the world what it means to follow Christ. And although this submission can lead to suffering unjustly, before Peter reminds them of the suffering, he quotes from Psalm 34:12-16, and sums up the reason for living in this submitted way. He explains in verses 10-12:

10 For the one who wants to love lifeand to see good days,let him keep his tongue from eviland his lips from speaking deceit,11 and let him turn away from eviland do what is good.Let him seek peace and pursue it,12 because the eyes of the Lord are on the righteousand his ears are open to their prayer.But the face of the Lord is againstthose who do what is evil.”

 

If we want to “love life and see good days” we must follow these directives: keep our tongues from evil and from speaking lies; turn away from evil and do what is good; and not only seek peace, but pursue it. How would obeying those things cause us to love life and see good days? He answered that question by saying, “because the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do what is evil.” This is a direct cause-and-effect situation. If the Lord won’t hear our prayers, and if His face is against us, then certainly we will not love life nor see good days!

 

Just as Peter said, a husband who fails to honor his wife will have hindered prayer, so too, if we speak lies, give in to evil, do what is wrong, pursue strife and division, our prayers will be hindered. The Lord’s eyes are on the righteous and hears our prayers. But He won’t hear us when we want to do what is evil. Look at what John 9:31 says: “We know that God doesn’t listen to sinners, but if anyone is God-fearing and does his will, he listens to him.” This was spoken by a man who was healed by Jesus, and he was making an axiomatic statement. It was general knowledge. Of course, though, we know God will hear any prayer of a sinner who cries out to Him in repentance, for we are all sinners who are only righteous through Jesus’ forgiveness and cleansing. But, when we are unrepentant and have chosen what is evil, how can God hear us and answer us? He won’t. We must come to Him in repentance. Our unrepentant sin hinders our prayers.

 

So, while we can have confidence that our prayers are not hindered if we are in right standing with the Lord, it doesn’t mean that we won’t face suffering.

 

Which is what Peter tells the believers next. He asks them a rhetorical question to indicate where he wants their train of thought to go. In verses 13-17 he says, “13 Who then will harm you if you are devoted to what is good? 14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness, you are blessed. Do not fear them or be intimidated, 15 but in your hearts regard Christ the Lord as holy, ready at any time to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you. 16 Yet do this with gentleness and reverence, keeping a clear conscience, so that when you are accused, those who disparage your good conduct in Christ will be put to shame. 17 For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.”

 

He’s saying that even though we might suffer for doing what is good, we still can “love life” and see “good days,” because if we suffer for doing good, we are blessed. We don’t need to fear or be intimidated by those who might accuse us or disparage us for living holy lives. We also should not lash out or retaliate. What we should do is keep on following the word’s directives. And when someone asks why we are law-abiding citizens, why we don’t retaliate and lash out when mistreated, why we are so happy in our marriages and families, then we can give them the reason we live the way we do. The reason is because we are filled with hope. This hope is the hope Peter mentioned in chapter 1. Our hope is set completely on the grace to be brought to us at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Our hope is Jesus and what awaits us in eternity, when Jesus will make all the wrongs things right.

 

But did you notice, Peter is also careful to advise them to explain their hope with gentleness and reverence? This means that when people ask us why we are the way we are, or rather accuse us of not fitting into the world and so they disparage our righteous conduct, we shouldn’t lash out at them. We should remain calm. Then they will be ashamed for attacking us. But even if they aren’t shamed and they continue to attack us, as Peter says, “it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.”

 

Then he explains why this is so. Verses 18-22 say, “18 For Christ also suffered for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring you to God. He was put to death in the flesh but made alive by the Spirit, 19 in which he also went and made proclamation to the spirits in prison 20 who in the past were disobedient, when God patiently waited in the days of Noah while the ark was being prepared. In it a few—that is, eight people—were saved through water. 21 Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you (not as the removal of dirt from the body, but the pledge of a good conscience toward God) through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22 who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God with angels, authorities, and powers subject to him.”

 

Just as we are getting to the end of this chapter, Peter dropped in some seemingly off-hand information, didn’t he? If this seems confusing, you’re in good company. What Peter casually mentions is actually quite complicated. A lot of commentators brush this off and simply move past. Others dive in and offer the many theories on what Peter might be saying. The complicated part is his words that Jesus, when He died, “also went and made proclamation to the spirits in prison who in the past were disobedient, when God patiently waited in the days of Noah while the ark was being prepared.” Some people take this to mean that Jesus descended into hell and preached to those who had died. Others think he’s talking about specific angels who fell and a result of their fall, were imprisoned. I think this is probably what Peter is referencing.

 

In Jude 1:6, it says, “and the angels who did not keep their own position but abandoned their proper dwelling, he has kept in eternal chains in deep darkness for the judgment on the great day.” We don’t know exactly what the angels’ sins were, but Peter mentions this again in 2 Peter 2:4 when he says, “God didn’t spare the angels who sinned but cast them into hell and delivered them in chains of utter darkness to be kept for judgment.”

 

These angels who “did not keep their own position” could be the ones mentioned in Genesis 6:1–4, which tells of ‘sons of God’ having children with the ‘daughters of men’ and producing a race of giants, the Nephilim. This took place before the Flood, and so this all lines up.

 

If this is correct, why does Peter bring this up? He says that Jesus “went and made proclamation to the spirits in prison.” I don’t know if Jesus spoke to them and declared His victory over them, or if simply by His descending into hell and then rising out of hell back to life “made proclamation to the spirits in prison.” What I do know is what Colossians 2:14-15 says: “He erased the certificate of debt, with its obligations, that was against us and opposed to us, and has taken it away by nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and disgraced them publicly; he triumphed over them in him.” The cross triumphed over all evil. So, simply by dying on the cross and rising again, Jesus made proclamation of His victory over evil.

 

This is the foundation of our faith in Jesus. Peter connects Jesus’ victory over death with Noah and the flood, which, by the way, should be more than enough proof for all of us to trust that the flood literally happened, for Peter acknowledges it as simple fact. He correlates Noah being saved from the flood with baptism, for reading verses 21-22 again, he says, “Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you (not as the removal of dirt from the body, but the pledge of a good conscience toward God) through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God with angels, authorities, and powers subject to him.”

 

Some denominations read this passage and conclude that baptism saves us. But that’s not what Peter is saying. He is actually clarifying that it is our faith which saves us. It’s not the washing of water that saves us, but the “pledge of a good conscience toward God” which is shown by baptism, that saves us. Faith is first. First, we believe and repent, then we are baptized to show publicly that we are buried and brought to life with Christ. Peter is clarifying that it is not the washing of water that saves: we are saved through our faith in Jesus and His resurrection. As Titus 3:4-7 says, “But when the kindness of God our Savior and his love for mankind appeared, he saved us—not by works of righteousness that we had done, but according to his mercy—through the washing of regeneration and renewal by the Holy Spirit. He poured out his Spirit on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior so that, having been justified by his grace, we may become heirs with the hope of eternal life.”

 

We have this hope that Peter keeps mentioning because of our faith in what Jesus has done for us. We identify with Him, not just through our baptism, but in how we live out our lives each day, in imitation of His great love. We are not to fear or be intimated by people, whether they are the government, our employers, or our spouses. We are to imitate Christ’s actions, and be compassionate, humble, long-suffering, and yet full of unshakable hope, that the Savior we live for is keeping safe for us our inheritance. We are not living to glorify ourselves, but we live with hope, trusting that Jesus, “who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God with angels, authorities, and powers subject to him” will one day return and reward us for how we followed Him.

 

Do you see how it all goes together? Jesus in His great mercy, died on the cross to forgive us of our sins. He offers us this gift of salvation. We receive His gift by faith, and by the power of the Holy Spirit who lives inside of us, He propels us to live holy lives, set apart from the ways of the word, so we can be witnesses to the world of the goodness of God. This causes trouble for us as we live so differently from the world. But when confronted, we can offer this hope to others, so they too may find the forgiveness and grace that we have in Christ Jesus.

 

Pray: Heavenly Father, we confess that we have often failed to love one another. Thank You for Your forgiveness. Help us to be compassionate, humble, and willing to serve one another as You have told us to do. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

תגובות


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